Finding yourself

I remember several years ago my friend Marla went through a "self discovery" stage - remember Marla, you sent us questions to answer about you. I think I am going through a similar stage right now. I need reminded of who I am and what is important to me - as well as how others see me.

My life (and Elijah's life) has changed so much in the last two years, I think I have lost who I am. For so many years I was a career women and mom. I put everything I had into my career and Elijah. My life was defined by being Elijah's mom and working. I felt like I had it together both as a parent and as a manager (my role at athenahealth).

Now, I feel like I do not have it together at all. I am still a career women and a mom, only now I am a wife and a mom of three - two of which need my constant attention. There are not enough hours in a day to get it all done, and I have realized that. But, it is my nature to want to get it all done and have it done right - and perfect.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? Did you "evaluate" yourself and find who you really are? Do we change as our lives change? I would think we'd have to..... but how do we keep the basis of who we are as the environment around us changes?

I am going back to work in 2 weeks - 2 weeks from today is my first day - and I am NOT looking forward to it (don't tell anyone I said that Lauren) so I need to get out of this funk I am in so I can go back with a positive attitude and still be positive at the end of the day for my family.

Let me know your thoughts.

Week 3

Well... it's week three of having two babies under 1 year old and let me tell you I'm exhausted :-)

One of the good things is that I am only 2 pounds away from the weight I was at when I got pregnant with Blake - although I never really lost the weight from Cloe so I still have a really long way to go!

One thing I have realized over the past 3 weeks is how important my friends are to me, I MISS YOU ALL!!! I am really going to make a better effort to stay in touch with everyone - and I am going to use this blog to help me do that. I have only cooked one meal since I came home from the hospital with Blake, ha! All I do all day is run between the babies, wash dishes (especially bottles) and no I do not have a dishwasher so yes i wash them all by hand, laundry - it's never ending, and running Elijah to his activities. So I am really in need of some ideas from all of you to help me keep my sanity, get out of the house, and still get it all done.

Does anyone have a good idea for organizing your week? I know Marla does house stuff Monday through Wednesday then has adventure days on Thursday and Friday. I am trying to organizing me week so that I split up the housework and still have fun days.

Right now I am planning Cloe's first birthday party and our wedding reception - both of them are not that far off and I am WAY behind in planning. If you have any good decorating ideas for either one, please send them my way. We are doing a BBQ for our wedding reception - so if you have any good centerpiece ideas I would love to hear them, I am so bad at planning this sort of thing.

Also - any ideas on how to boost energy? I am so exhausted - especially in the morning - I fall asleep when I am feeding Blake sometimes. I need some energy foods or something to help give me an extra boost throughout the day.

Lastly - any fun ideas for things to do with a 12 year old an 11 month (almost 1 year old) and a one month old? I need to get out of this house and do some fun stuff but the day gets a head of me and by the afternoon it's time for baseball (which is almost over).

Any ideas you have would be VERY helpful and VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!